Have you ever noticed how people are more naturally drawn to people with whom they share things in common?
This is commonly called the “law of attraction” and, in action, means simply that you will find personal and professional connection with people that are similar to you, or project qualities you want to emulate.
The most successful leaders leverage this “law” to gain rapport, which is created by a feeling of commonality with their audience. These leaders seem more naturally able to adapt their language, their tonality and their outward behavior to suit whomever they’re speaking to. By entering and positively reflecting another’s world they gain trust, build engagement and increase influence — to more persuasively create lasting, positive change.
Mirroring & Matching is one of the most effective methods to establish rapport.
How does this work? During conversation, adopt the body language you see in the other person’s pose, temper the speed and tonality of your voice and even adjust your choice of vocabulary to more closely match theirs. Mirroring & Matching requires grace and subtlety, with a light and unobtrusive adjustment you will make the person you’re speaking with more comfortable.
Remember these three key tips when attempting Mirroring & Matching.
1. Questions don’t create rapport; avoid “interviewing” the people you are speaking with. Use leading statements and examples from your own life to drive the conversation forward without making people feel they’re being interrogated by a superior. Pacing & Leading during conversations allow you to elegantly and accurately adjust during natural phases to maintain rapport.
2. Rapport is created by a feeling of commonality; Mirroring & Matching is a principle, rather than a specific set of mechanical actions. Use these techniques to discover what you truly share in common with others rather than as a pretense to gain power over the short-term.
3. Words are not sufficient; do you know the 55/38/7 Rule? It states that only 7% of communication is verbal, while 55% of communication is visual (your body language and 38% of communication is your voice (tone and inflection). Think about how your messages may be undermined by poor choices of posture, gesture and expression.
Now that you’ve seen how Mirroring & Matching can help leaders, like you, get real results in all their interactions and any situation, seize your opportunity to become an outstanding communicator — Learn to lead like the best and most successful in the world!