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Not feeling good enough?

4 steps to examine your fears and make positive change in your life

Posted by: Tony Robbins

Many Americans struggle with not feeling good enough. Our high-powered culture is competitive and encourages us to look outside ourselves for our self-worth. Magazines show us the ideal body; movies show us unrealistic love stories; television shows us all of the things we could own, if only we had more money. On top of that, many of us carry trauma and internalized limiting beliefs that create fears we may not even be aware of.

It’s no wonder so many of us find ourselves asking, “Why am I not good enough?” at some point in our lives. But studies have found that basing our self-esteem on external sources, like appearance, academics or the opinions of others, can cause anxiety and even lead to more alcohol use.

To truly achieve the life you deserve, you have to examine your own internal motivations and determine the deeper reasons you feel like you’re not good enough.

Why am I not good enough?

You are good enough. The truth is that everyone is good enough – the real question you should be asking yourself is, “Why am I not feeling good enough?” As Tony says, “Things do not have meaning. We assign meaning to everything.” Examining why you’re assigning this meaning to your feelings will reveal deeper truths about your fears and desires – and set you on a path to feeling good enough, once and for all.

Reasons you’re not feeling good enough

Not feeling good enough can be caused by both internal and external factors. Internal factors include our own self-talk and our internalized beliefs about who we are and what we are good at. If we do badly on a test, get in a car accident or lose a competition, we might tell ourselves that we’re just not good enough. We take one incident and let it color the picture of our entire lives.

Other people can make us feel not good enough, as well. When someone doesn’t return our phone calls, stands us up on a date or breaks off a relationship, we tell ourselves they must have left us because we weren’t good enough for them.

Sara Matt struggled with this type of self-doubt. She thought that if she gave gifts to the people in her life, she could buy affection and hopefully receive the love she wanted in return. Sara learned the hard way that that’s not how personal relationships work — she had to work to accept herself before she could make progress in other areas of her life.

If you, like Sara, are asking yourself, “Why am I not good enough?,”, you’re not alone. But there are tools and resources to help you work past these obstacles. Sara turned to Tony Robbins’ Results Coaching to help her improve her self-esteem and advance in other areas she felt she was lacking. Creating real, measurable SMART goals – and reaching them with the help of her coach – was an empowering and life-changing experience.

Watch the video below to see how Results Coaching helped her transform from “not good enough” to an extraordinary life filled with love and success.

How to stop feeling like you’re not good enough

Our relationships with ourselves and with others can make us feel like we’re not good enough – but they don’t have to. The truth is that your worth isn’t based on what others think of you – and you can change your mindset and assign a different meaning to events in your life.

Results Coaching will prompt you to dig deeper into your own heart and mind and determine why you do what you do. You’ll stop asking “Why am I not good enough?” and start asking “How can I face my fears and live the life I desire?”

Step 1: Face your fears

When you start asking yourself the right questions about why you’re not feeling good enough, you’ll find it’s related to fear and anxiety. A Results Coach will help you pinpoint the reason why you’re feeling insecure. Most likely, you’re afraid of not reaching your full potential. When you put off making progress toward your goals, you start existing in a perpetual state of anxiety. This makes you think that obstacles are bigger than they actually are, and causes you to doubt yourself.

A well-trained Results Coach can help you identify the limiting beliefs standing in your way. Why did you start believing you’re not good enough? Was it because you failed at a task in the past, or because someone told you you were incapable? Once you can identify the reason why you’re afraid to grow, then you can begin to make progress.

Step 2: Become accountable

It’s one thing to tell yourself repeatedly that you’re not living up to your potential – it’s another thing to do something about it. You have to find the drive within yourself that will propel you to succeed, and a Results Coach is there to help you along the way. Your loved ones want to support you in your endeavors, but they won’t always be able to provide you with the open feedback that a coach will.

That being said, a coach will not dictate the exact steps you need to take to achieve your goal. Instead, they’ll help you identify clear objectives and ask you if you’re making the right moves to follow through with your goals. A Results Coach will never push you to do things you’re uncomfortable with; they’ll just remind you of your values, call you out when you’re slipping up and help point you in the right direction if you’re not feeling good enough at any time.

Step 3: Re-focus on your goals

Think of all the time you’ve spent not feeling good enough. What could you have accomplished if you put that time to good use instead? A Results Coach will help you not only identify your ultimate goals, but to limit your distractions. If you say you want to work on getting in better shape, but insist you don’t have time to regularly go to the gym, a Results Coach can help you identify gaps in your schedule where you’re mismanaging time. A coach can help you see that if you want something badly enough, and have the hunger to go after it, you can achieve anything. The reasons you think you’re not good enough are merely excuses you’ve created because of your own fears and limiting beliefs.

Step 4: Create a personalized plan

A coach will never tell you what you should or shouldn’t do with your life, but they will help you identify real, measurable goals that will set you on the path from not feeling good enough to a place of self-love and worth. Your chosen coach has already reached success in his or her own life, and undergoes 250 hours of annual training to remain up-to-date on the best strategies to help you succeed. During your time with your coach, they’ll create an extraordinary plan that helps you achieve the incredible results you’ve been envisioning, but have been too afraid to chase after on your own.

The minute you stop telling yourself “I’m not good enough,” your life will change for the better. As Tony Robbins says, “Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.” Not everyone has the knowledge to change their story on their own, and that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Working with someone who has the knowledge you need, like a Tony Robbins Results Coach, will help you build confidence in your skills, which will ultimately make you feel empowered to go after the success you know you’re capable of.

There’s no reason to go through life feeling like you are not good enough. To start accepting that you are more than enough and begin living your life at the next level, schedule your free 30-minute coaching strategy session today.

Cultivate a winning mindset with your own Results Coach today