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Wired for Pleasure

Jaiya Ma on desire, seduction and embracing your erotic blueprint

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What have you been taught about pleasure? What have you learned about sexual connection? Does the very thought of answering those questions make you uncomfortable?

In this episode of the Tony Robbins Podcast, our host, Ana Yoerg, is sitting down with renowned sexologist, Jaiya Ma, and her partner, Ian. Jaiya is the author of Red Hot Touch and Founder of New World Sex Education – a company dedicated to using education to help men and women get the sex lives they’ve always wanted. Her mission is to help unleash erotic ecstasy and shift the cultural view of sexuality from being something that is bad, wrong or shameful to something that is seen as healthy and worth cultivating, and even worth celebrating. You may have seen Jaiya on The Doctors, GMA, Nightline or CNN. She’s been a guest speaker at Tony’s Platinum Partner events.

Today we’re exploring the ultimate language of connection, passion and sexual satisfaction – which Jaiya refers to as The Erotic Blueprint. Jaiya created the Erotic Blueprint framework to help you discover your personal map of sexual arousal and how you can understand yourself and your partner on a deeper level than ever before. Because it’s not just about being able to communicate what you need, it’s about speaking the same language as your partner, and learning how to honor and fulfill their needs. This is the path to connection. And it’s the way to opening up new possibilities for seduction, enticement and a deeper level of intimacy than you’ve ever experienced before.


[01:50] Introduction
[03:30] Welcome Jaiya and Ian
[03:40] What is an erotic blueprint?
[03:55] We are all wired in a different way, erotically
[04:15] The 5 main blueprint types
[04:30] How Jaiya developed the blueprints
[05:00] Understanding and honoring your partner
[05:30] The myth of sexual incompatibility
[05:50] We are afraid to talk about sex
[06:30] What did you learn about sexuality growing up?
[06:55] Unraveling the negative programming
[08:55] Learning to speak each other’s language
[09:30] We are wired for pleasure
[10:15] Feminine energy requires pleasure
[10:45] Really understanding how to take care of yourself
[11:25] The blueprints explained
[11:50] Notice what resonates with your body
[12:20] The mental aspect of determining your blueprint (
[12:40] Getting hands on with what your body has to say
[13:05] The energetic blueprint
[14:20] The sensitivity of the energetic
[14:45] What the energetic is not about
[15:00] Presence is the primary sexual skill
[16:05] Each blueprint has a positive side and a shadow side
[17:15] The energetic can become icey and withdrawn
[18:20] The sensual blueprint
[18:55] The shadow side of the sensual
[19:20] Sensuals can get very caught up in their head
[19:45] They bring beauty to their sensual experience
[20:10] Jaiya and Ian’s personal struggle as a couple
[23:10] The sexual blueprint
[23:50] The sexual brings fun and can be very goal driven
[24:10] Orgasm and sex helps them relax – it’s a need
[25:00] The shadow side of the sexual
[25:40] The cultural stigma against women with a sexual blueprint
[26:30] When men and women wear a mask
[26:50] The shadow side of the sexual
[28:40] The kinky blueprint
[30:10] The shadow side of the kinky blueprint
[30:40] The mythology surrounding kink
[31:00] The superpowers of the kinky blueprint
[31:20] Approaching this blueprint from a psychological standpoint
[32:20] Owning your energy in the bedroom
[33:00] Turned on by sensation
[34:40] Combining blueprints
[35:10] Blueprint stacking
[35:40] The shame that surrounds the kinky blueprint
[36:30] Grooves can become ruts, and eventually lead to graves
[37:00] Tony’s blueprint for happiness
[38:00] Our blueprints show us where we’re limited
[38:20] The 4 components of embracing your blueprint
[39:00] Get rid of your rules
[39:30] Your sexuality is constantly changing
[40:00] Seeing the different sides of your partner over time
[40:40] Why are you in a relationship?
[42:55] Understanding blueprints allows for deeper levels of communication
[43:30] The shapeshifter blueprint
[44:15] The superpower of the shapeshifter
[44:45] The shadow sides of the shapeshifter
[45:45] The shapeshifter’s voracious appetite
[48:00] Sexual vitality and your health
[49:20] What are your biggest obstacles to sexual health and pleasure?
[51:20] The selfish drive that underlies the shadow side of the shapeshifter
[53:10] The reason there are so many shapeshifters
[53:30] The 2 most common blueprints
[55:20] The AB Game
[57:20] Advice for introducing the blueprint to your partner
[58:40] Don’t content dump on your partner
[59:20] Start with appreciation
[50:50] Speaking to a place of “providing” for the relationship
[51:50] Be non-critical
[01:03:55] Tune into the compassion – pay attention to core injuries
[01:04:40] It takes 1 person to transform a relationship
[01:06:00] Jaiya’s 1 year commitment to herself
[01:07:40] Trade your expectations for appreciation
[01:08:25] Where to learn more about Ian and Jaiya


What is the state of your union? – If you want to recapture romance, you must start by letting go of your rules, embracing your partner’s core, and bringing your best state to the forefront.

Keeping the spark alive – Learn the 6 key ways to reconnect with your partner and create a new level of intimacy in your relationship.

5 Ways to rekindle a relationship – If you want to restore passion in your relationship, you need to take small impactful steps that can lead to massive changes.

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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