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The Power of Unity

Tony and Pastor Miles McPherson discuss the third option to healing the racial divide

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Police shootings. Border protests. White nationalist rallies. There’s no denying that we live in a time of racial divide that only seems to be growing. And while it’s easy to direct our focus to these great chasms that separate us, this is actually when it becomes even more imperative to start focusing on what unites us.

In this episode of the Tony Robbins Podcast, Tony is sitting down with Pastor Miles McPherson of the Rock Church in San Diego, who leads tens of thousands of diverse individuals in sermon every month. He’s also a former NFL football player, motivational speaker, and he has recently authored The Third Option: Hope for a Racially Divided Nation. Pastor Miles brings a refreshingly different perspective to the discussion around race and race relations, asking the tough questions about how we ended up in this state of tension and turmoil, and what we can do on a psychological and practical level, so that we can initiate real change.

Where does racism come from? Are we all biased in some capacity? How do we expose racial divides, and most importantly, how do we move beyond them? These are just some of the questions that Tony and Pastor Miles have a tough, honest conversation about so that we can all find a way to be part of the solution. Because perhaps it’s time for us to all take a step back, stop focusing on what separates us, and star focusing on what we have in common, so that we can all work together to build a more united world.


[00:04] Tony introduces the episode
[00:45] There’s so much pain – but what about solutions?
[01:15] Unconscious conditioning
[01:45] Pastor Miles history
[04:40] Learning about the gospel and giving up drugs
[06:25] Why Pastor Miles wrote this book
[07:25] Every race conversation is “us vs. them”
[08:00] We share a great deal of the same DNA
[08:45] Placing a priceless value on what we have in common
[09:20] The book gives people tools for clarity
[09:35] Pastor Miles definition of racism
[10:30] Racially offensive vs. racist
[12:10] Understanding there is much we don’t know, and don’t see
[12:40] “Grouping”
[15:20] The people who aren’t in the group feel ostracized
[15:40] Blind spots that stem from unawareness
[16:00] The power of asking
[16:25] Finding your blind spots
[18:00] How your thought patterns change when you’re around people like you
[19:20] It’s not about not being racist
[20:00] We all see color, that’s the truth
[20:20] Seeing color honors the past
[22:40] Celebrate and honor the beauty of color
[23:10] A belief is a poor substitute for experience
[23:40] Tony’s experience with Tookie Williams
[25:25] Color doesn’t matter – it’s the soul
[25:40] Re-labeling people
[26:10] The Golden Rule
[27:00] Labeling gives permission to treat someone as less than
[29:10] The importance of social narratives
[32:00] How people break past barriers
[35:20] Culture shapes our behaviors
[36:05] Contracts vs. covenants
[37:30] Learning how to unconditionally love
[38:25] The 5 Chairs story
[41:55] Picking sides means focusing on differences
[42:50] Taking away the idea of demonization
[44:10] Loving people who don’t share your beliefs
[44:40] Does intent matter?
[45:30] Learning to find balance
[47:10] Dehumanizing others prevents us from relating
[48:10] Pastor Miles’ goal for writing this book
[39:10] Practical steps to embrace others
[50:55] Giving people grace
[52:30] Prison reform
[53:30] Rod Carew
[55:15] The Third Option Challenge

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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