Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.
How to get what you deserve
Transform your mindset and achieve your dreams in 8 steps
Reality check: What we get in life is completely unrelated to how deserving we are. We all know people who are the epitome of kindness and goodness who can’t seem to get ahead. We also know people who are lazy and selfish, and seem to get everything they want.
The first rule of life is that it doesn’t owe you anything. To get what you deserve, you need to live with an open and positive mindset. You must hold a deep belief that you truly deserve good things. And you need to be willing to work for them.
Decide what you want
The first step for how to get what you deserve is to decide what it is you deserve. Don’t be afraid to think big. Let yourself want more out of life. You only live once. That’s why Tony challenges each and every one of us to make our lives a masterpiece. What would your most extraordinary life look like? When you look back on your life, what will be your biggest regrets? Your biggest accomplishments? Those are your “musts,” and they’re the key to get what you deserve.
Believe in yourself
Do you think you deserve a better relationship, but you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over? Do you think you deserve a raise or a promotion, but you’ve never asked for one? You’re letting your limiting beliefs hold you back: that you’re not deserving of love, that you’re not smart enough to succeed at work. Perhaps you feel guilty over a past mistake or regretful of a decision you made – but you must put the past behind you. To unlock how to get what you deserve, you must truly believe that you deserve it.
Be willing to receive
So many of us are givers. We give our all to family and friends and romantic relationships, always focusing on the other person’s needs. Before we know it, we don’t have energy left for ourselves. You’ll never get what you deserve if you don’t have time and energy to spend on yourself – and an open mindset that is ready to receive, not just give. Use priming as part of your morning ritual to open your mind to whatever the day may bring.
Raise your standards
Learning how to get what you deserve comes down to one principle: we get what we’re willing to put up with. If you’re willing to accept when others treat you poorly, you’ll get more of the same. As Tony says, “If you don’t set a baseline standard for what you’ll accept in life, you’ll find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that’s far below what you deserve.” What’s your baseline? If you’re not getting what you think you deserve, you need to raise your standards.
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. To raise your standards, you’re going to have to make some changes. If you’re not able to get what you deserve where you are, then leave. Change jobs. Change relationships. Surround yourself with people who have the things that you want and who will challenge you to reach your goals. You cannot allow opportunities to pass you by just because you want to stay in your comfort zone.
Take a chance
No change worth making comes without risk. Learn to overcome anxiety and be willing to put yourself out there to take a chance. Accept that failure is a part of achieving anything worthwhile. Instead of focusing on avoiding failure – and never experiencing life to the fullest – address your fear head on so that when you fail, you bounce back. Stop the cycle of guilt, regret and fear by realizing that life happens for you, not to you. Even if you fail, you’ll learn a valuable lesson.
Build your confidence
Getting out of your comfort zone will naturally build your confidence as your brain experiences new scenarios and creates new neural pathways. Confident people don’t just get what they think they deserve – they go after things even if they don’t think they deserve them. They don’t tell themselves they’re not good enough or they’ll never make it. They take risks and have a deep, unstoppable belief in themselves. When you move through life with confidence, you naturally get what you deserve.
Don’t give up
Would Edison have invented the light bulb or Alexander Graham Bell the telephone if they gave up at the first sign of a challenge? Would Disney have created Mickey Mouse if he let bankruptcy destroy his dreams? All of these people had the inner strength they needed to keep going. Getting what you deserve involves persistence and hard work – and it’s worth it.