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How to reconnect with yourself

4 ways to examine your needs and get in touch with yourself again

It’s easier than ever to get lost in the day-to-day activities and stresses of the external world. Work, relationships, errands our focus is almost always on anything and anyone but ourselves. For so many of us, it’s a constant effort to please others or be who we think we have to be in order to get the love, respect or appreciation we are after.

The question we must all really be asking is, “How do I connect with myself?

Living without discovering how to reconnect with yourself is a game of stress and frustration. Because it’s not what we get or how we are perceived that makes us happy. It’s who we become – how we live our lives and who we are as a person. People can take away all of the “things,” but no one can take away who you are. Falling in love with yourself is vital to living a fulfilling life.

How do I connect with myself?

Reconnecting with yourself is not just something you “should” do, it’s something you “must” do. If you’re asking, “How can I get in touch with myself again?” your life is likely less than fulfilling. You might be stuck in an unsatisfying job. You might not feel supported in your relationship or friendships. You could even be experiencing anxiety or depression. These are all symptoms that are telling you it’s time to discover how to reconnect with yourself.

1. Understand what drives you

We all get stuck in patterns – but you don’t have to settle for less than you can be, share, give or create. Reconnecting with yourself gives you a chance to celebrate your gifts and understand what really drives you. When you know this, the more you can show up for others and the more you can add to the world around you. It’s time to break your patterns and determine what really drives you. What makes you feel the most alive. Your purpose in life.

Ask yourself: When am I the most happy? When I feel the most myself, what am I doing? How do I connect with myself when no one else is around? That’s your gift. Your essence. The key to how to reconnect with yourself. It’s closely connected to your most powerful of the Six Human Needs: certainty, significance, variety, love/connection, growth or contribution.

If you crave contribution, your gift is likely connected to volunteering or doing good in the world. If you crave significance or connection, your purpose in life likely involves family and friends. Once you determine your top human need, you can begin to ask, “How can I get in touch with myself again?”

2. Reconnect with yourself emotionally

We tend to think of our voices in a functional capacity: used to communicate, to express ourselves, to entertain. But according to Edwin Coppard, Owner of Real People Music and Speaker at Life Wealth Mastery, our voices also present a pathway to our authentic selves.

As a child, Coppard contends, our voices were raw and unadulterated. They were loud, strong, and for all intents and purposes, there was no filter when we spoke. But as we grew up and began to internalize our surroundings and understand ourselves in the greater context, we began to suppress this natural voice in favor of a socialized mind voice.

This socialized mind voice disconnected us from the power and energy of our natural sound. When we spoke, we were no longer representing the self, but rather reflecting ideals and personas that aligned with society.

Coppard believes that through the power of song, we can step out of the way, allow the natural intelligence of our bodies to take over and rediscover the beauty of the “wild voice.” Through your voice, you can get in touch with your inner child and begin to learn how to reconnect with yourself. So put on your favorite song and sing along. Create a new song all your own. Learn an instrument. As Coppard explains in the video below, music will wake you up to your true self.

3. Reconnect with yourself physically

Dance is one of the ultimate means of self-expression. But did you know that it can also help answer the question, “How do I connect with myself?” That’s what the 5 Rhythms is all about.

Created and developed by Gabrielle Roth in the late 1970s, the 5 Rhythms is essentially a dance and movement meditation practice. Based on the idea that dynamic movement can facilitate self-actualization, Roth maintained that putting the body in motion can release the heart, free the mind and allow the student to connect to the true essence of the soul, which is the source of inspiration in which an individual has unlimited creativity and potential.

The five rhythms — flowing, staccato, chaos, lyrical and stillness — are not sonic rhythms in the sense of drums or beats, but experiential rhythms that describe mental and emotional landscapes. That is, they are more like states of being. Each rhythm is interpreted by the student in his or her own unique way, and each is meant to help guide the student to move more mindfully, unpredictably and creatively. When practiced in sequence, these rhythms form a “wave” that allows the student to deepen his or her understanding of his or her natural truth and ground the mind by connecting back to the body.

4. Reconnect with yourself mentally

The difference in the quality of people’s lives often comes down to the quality of the questions they consistently ask themselves. If you ask a disempowering question, such as “Why does this always happen to me?” your mental computer will look for an answer. To satisfy the question, your subconscious may even make something up, such as “Because you aren’t good enough” or “Because you are not smart enough.”

This negative self-talk will only prevent you from uncovering how to reconnect with yourself. But if you start asking yourself empowering questions, such as “How can I use this experience to appreciate myself more?” your brain will look for answers to this question and often come up with an answer that not only makes you feel better, but allow you to celebrate and reconnect with your true self.

This is why making the shift toward quality questions is so important. Because quality questions create a quality life. They direct our mental focus and ultimately determine how we think and feel. The key is to develop a pattern of questions that empower your true nature. For example, focus on quality questions such as:

•    What am I most happy about in my life now?
•    What am I most excited about in my life now?
•    What am I most proud about in my life now?
•    What am I most grateful about in my life now?
•    What am I enjoying most in my life right now?
•    What am I committed to in my life right now?
•    Who do I love?

By making quality questions part of your daily ritual, you will be able to access your most empowering emotional states. And over time, as you consistently practice doing so, you will be able to create mental highways to happiness, excitement, pride, gratitude, joy, commitment and love — which is who you are at your core.

Header image © AndreyYurlov/Shutterstock

Team Tony

Team Tony cultivates, curates and shares Tony Robbins’ stories and core principles, to help others achieve an extraordinary life.

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