Improve your confidence
Have you ever jumped out of bed in a fantastic mood and had the entire day go your way? How about the opposite? How you feel is the direct result of your state of mind. If you’re perpetually stressed and anxious, you’re going to be living in a depressed state – everything in your life will feel like it’s going awry.
During times like this you may feel like you can’t do anything right, and your confidence will take a direct hit. But if you consistently feel gratitude, love and joy, you’re going to be living in an amazing, positive state in which nothing bothers you. You’ll move through your day with purpose, completing your tasks with enthusiasm and building confidence along the way. This is all part of learning how to believe in yourself, a skill that fits hand-in-glove with learning how to be confident.
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Learn how to build confidence by managing your emotions
Humans have the unique and incredible capacity to experience a wide range of emotions. But if you let your emotions dictate your experience of life without pinpointing why you feel a particular way, your emotions control you. Over time, this affects how you feel and act every single day. If you’re fueled by a sense of well-being, you’ll exude happiness and calm. If you’re bogged down by negativity, those around you will sense your unhappiness and fear.
How can you avoid the latter? The truth is that you are completely in charge of how you feel, including whether or not you feel confident. Once you understand that your feelings are within your control, you’re well on your way to understanding how to be confident. Confidence is not something people are born with – it’s something you must create. Building confidence creates the feeling of certainty that you can accomplish what you set out to do. Confidence is like any other emotion. It is something you feel, and you can train yourself to access it in an instant.
Learn how to gain confidence by discovering your purpose
Why is learning how to gain confidence important to you? Do you present at conventions where you interact with a huge number of people? Do you run a company or a team and need to present a strong sense of leadership? Maybe you’ve started dating and want to make a good impression when you meet a potential new love interest. The first step in building confidence is knowing why you want to achieve it.
Once you know your purpose, learning how to build confidence becomes a matter of retraining your brain. In order to accomplish your goal, you need to present yourself as a confident person. There is no other way to do it. Ignore the uncertainty that holds you back; second-guessing yourself will open the door to hesitance, doubt and fear. As you let go of negative thoughts that are holding you back, your body will take the cue that it’s time to stand up straighter, stop fidgeting and present the most confident version of yourself. Your mind and body begin a positive feedback loop, each part noticing the increasing confidence of the other and responding in kind.
Building confidence means changing your outlook
Learning how to be confident is a process of uncovering your beliefs that are causing self-doubt. What kind of questions are you asking yourself? If the things that come to mind are, “How come I’m not successful?” “Am I not smart enough to reach my goal?” “Do other people see me as a failure?” then you are setting yourself up for failure.
Shift the pattern of your thoughts and ask yourself things like, “Why shouldn’t I accomplish everything I set my mind to?” and “Why would I waste time on my anxieties instead of focusing on my strengths?” When you ask a better question, you get a better answer.
As Tony Robbins says, “Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.” The essence of building confidence is this: If you go into a situation knowing that you can handle it – whatever it is – then that’s exactly what you’ll do.
This is what it means to have a growth mindset, or the belief that you can develop your knowledge and improve your skills. When you view your challenges as opportunities to learn something new, you’re able to approach them with assurance. You begin to view setbacks as progress, so they become part of mastering how to build confidence.
How to build confidence centers on your passion
There’s one incredible trick that will help you figure out how to be confident even when you’re at your absolute lowest: thinking about something you’re proud of.
When you’re feeling unsure of yourself, remember a recent accomplishment of any scale. Maybe you did something impressive at work, or you recently helped a family member. It can be as humble as helping someone lift a box or as intricate as solving a complex problem on an important project. Whatever it is, it’s something you did and no one else. That’s worth celebrating. Recognizing this accomplishment and your ability to do it will instantly elevate your mood and allow you to channel self-confidence.
The smallest amount of headway moves you leaps and bounds when you’re learning how to gain confidence. Your mind begins to think in positive terms, not negative ones. If you gave a killer presentation to your company last year, why wouldn’t you be able to complete your next project by the allotted deadline? If you’re the same person who ran your child’s baseball team while getting promoted to vice president in the same year, what’s holding you back from achieving this new goal, whatever it may be? Channeling moments of pride can help you to see the big picture more clearly – ultimately building your confidence.
As you practice building confidence and begin to believe in your own abilities, you’ll be able to access those feelings of well-being and pride faster and more often.
You are in charge of your emotions and can use them to shape your life however you choose. Decide today that you’re going to be a more confident, positive version of yourself, and you’ll have no other option than to succeed.
Strategies for learning how to build confidence
1. Know your values
Part of the problem with self-doubt is that you begin to doubt the core of who you are – the values that inspire you and guide your decisions. To truly learn how to be confident, you must know what your values are: loyalty, appreciation, creativity and so on. Stop thinking of values like compassion and generosity as weaknesses and instead take pride in them. They make you uniquely you.
When you know your values, you’ll be able to make value-driven choices, which leave no room for doubt. Strong decision-making is a trait of top leaders and a key to living with confidence. When you’re living up to your own standards, you’ll have absolute certainty – and that’s the definition of an extraordinary life filled with passion and purpose.
2. Accept your emotions
When you’re learning how to be more confident, it’s tempting to focus on your “ideal self” – the person you wish you were, a superhero who never experiences fear, doubt or shame. While managing negative emotions is certainly part of building confidence, shutting down your feelings doesn’t help. The first step to mastering your emotions is to actually let yourself feel them.
Accept yourself as you are in any emotional state. When you accept yourself unconditionally, you’re able to look at your feelings objectively and realize that they are there to teach you something. Lack of confidence is your brain protecting you – from embarrassment or discomfort – and it’s a signal that it’s time to get outside your comfort zone and face your fears.
3. Practice positive thinking
Feeling confident starts from within with positive thinking. When you’re building confidence, learn how to reframe your mindset to start thinking more positively and feel more self-assured as a result. First examine your limiting beliefs – the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. Are you nervous in social situations because you’ve always told yourself you’re shy? Do you tell yourself you could never be brave enough for public speaking? These beliefs are only holding you back from a life of confidence.
If you find yourself asking negative, limiting questions when it’s time to be confident, stop yourself. Think something positive about yourself instead, and begin focusing on all the reasons you’ll succeed instead of why you’ll fail. It may feel awkward at first – but the more you repeat positive self-talk, the more you’ll believe it. Once you build this habit, you’ll be able to view setbacks as stepping stones to success.
4. Change your physiology
Even if you don’t feel confident all the time, you can appear confident when needed by adjusting your body language. Research suggests that, when you project confidence through your actions, the degree to which you “feel” those actions makes the confidence feel real, too. You can “trick” your brain into feeling confident.
To put this principle into action, tell yourself you’re capable of achieving your goal. Take a deep breath and throw your shoulders back. You can even adopt a power pose, like putting your hands on your hips. Focus on feeling the confidence you’re projecting. With practice, building confidence becomes natural.
5. Practice your communication skills
It’s no accident that confidence and effective communication are both essential to being a good leader. They complement each other: communication skills are critical to achieving confidence, and learning how to be confident is pivotal to succeeding in your career. Whether you work in sales, management or another role, you must be able to communicate with self-assurance.
Communication is a vital soft skill that allows you to build rapport with others, and it’s less about talking than it is about listening. Communication involves respect, compassion, empathy and deep listening. It means learning how to mirror others to build a sense of solidarity. When you feel good about your communication skills, you’re mastering how to gain confidence with every interaction you have.
6. Reevaluate your blueprint
Everyone has a blueprint for their life – we want a certain career, a certain family and certain possessions, and we think we must have them on a certain timeline. When we don’t get these things, it’s our greatest source of pain. But what if we could let go of this need for control and be grateful instead?
When you’re focused on retaining a sense of control in life, it actually reduces your confidence. Nothing in life is truly within our control. By letting go, you’re able to accept circumstances as-is, which is a powerful component of learning how to build confidence. Learn how to recognize your need for control. Take steps toward letting go and finding a true sense of contentment and confidence in life.
Basics to Building Confidence
Our psychology is the only thing standing between us and total confidence. But most of us are living in our own heads, weighed down by limiting beliefs that tell us we’re not good enough. That other people see us as a failure. That we don’t have the strength to bounce back from adversity and crush our obstacles. When we let go of these weights and begin living in our hearts, not our heads, we discover ultimate freedom and fulfillment. It’s time to learn how to stop standing in your own way and allow yourself to feel confident in your skills.
Ask yourself: Am I controlling?
Learn how to recognize your need for control and take steps toward letting go. Find a true sense of contentment and build confidence in your life.
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